Did It

I fucking did it.

Going into this, I know I said that I was going to consider myself a winner if I came up with anything, that I was doing is as an experiment to see what it took, what my life would look like if I were completely dedicated to writing in a way that I have never been in my life.

By those metrics, I won a long time ago, though I think it will take me a while to figure out what practical lessons I can draw from the experience for my every day life.

However.

I also won by NaNoWriMo metrics tonight. I had the same issue as Zoom, where my program counted 50,009 as compared to the 49,059 I had validated on the NaNoWriMo site.

Now, I could have just put 50,009 in using the handy little counter at the top. But I didn't want to.

I have a stubborn streak in me made of iron. And an honest streak a bastard mile wide. I was not, no fucking way in hell, going to have to say for the rest of my life, "Oh yeah, I won NaNoWriMo in 2009. By my counter, I mean, I was 1000 words short by their counter, but you know."

Fuck. That.

Another thing going into this is that I didn't really think I could do it. I thought that I would give up on it. Because I thought I didn't have it in me.

But I do. I started late and had to take a few days off. I wrote 50,000 words in 22 days. And I think that what I wrote is not terrible. I'm going to put it away for December and make a less exhausted assessment on that the beginning January.

Even though I feel like someone has grated a couple of layers off my skin, both on the inside and the outside, I also feel amazing. Like punching the air and dancing like Snoopy amazing.

Maybe I will do that after I have laid on the kitchen floor and cried for a few moments.