Getting to Know Me: Two Snippets
I met Michael through Jennifer. He is fucking hilarious. We haven't spent much time hanging out by our ownselves, but whenever we do, it's a hoot. We went for brunch yesterday, and had so much fun we kept losing track of what we were actually talking about. Good times.
+WHAT, ME VEGAN?+
Over a very eggy menu, Michael said "Oh, do you eat eggs?" I knew what he actually meant, because he's like the 5th person this month to mean it.
"Indeed. I'm a meat eater."
"What? Really? Since when?"
"Since 5 years."
"Really. I had no idea. I totally thought you were veg."
It's pretty funny. I mean, I kind of get it. I am a bunch of things people always associate with vegetarianism: I am a glasses-wearing yoga-doing* greens-eating skinny pale lefty artsy girl.
So I expect it every once in a while, and laugh at the look of confusion and slight embarrassment on the asker's face. But more than once a week for the past 4 weeks?
I'll blame the iron for that, too.
+WHY I WAS A LOSER IN A SMALL TOWN SCHOOL+
After the food we ordered off the menus had been delivered:
Michael: So, were you a good kid as a teenager?
Me: For the first few years for sure. After that, I had rules, curfews, etcetera, that
I tended to circumnavigate.
Michael: You mean break.
Me: Well, yeah. But why say break when you can say circumnavigate?
And I'm surprised I wasn't popular in high school.
Really, you'd think that after 30 years, I'da learned how to tuck it in and not come off as a show off vocab snoot.
*The Born Ruffian: "You eat meat? When I found out you did yoga, I figured you were one of those bendy vegans." Wrong on both counts, sadly. Though I suppose I could do something about the latter pretty easily.
I was at a dinner party last night (fantastic food), and there was a special veggie dish just for me. I am not a vegetarian, but people also constantly assume that I am. Just last week I made the same assumption about a new friend - she said people regularly assume that about her too.
If I look at the three of us I see the following as common traits: women, soft spoken, tall, slim, bookworms, working for an NGO, foxy hair. (I think it's the foxy hair that does it)
I realize it was a rhetorical question, but using an interesting, evocative, nuanced word like "circumnavigate" is a million times hotter than some pedestrian, boring, utilitarian word like "break". Besides, "break" would imply that you outright ignored or trashed the rules, but "circumnavigate" implies a sneakier, more devious approach, as if for all intents and purposes you were a good girl while in actual fact you were getting away with murder. Also it makes you sound more like a pirate, so there's that.
What I'm trying to say is: don't feel ashamed of being verbose. Language is how we engage with the world and each other. It's only the most unimaginative who perceive language merely as a tool for communication; anybody else with a dollop of intelligence and soul knows that language is art. Hell, I'll go one step further: language is sex. You wouldn't feel bad about being better in bed than everybody else in your high school, would you?
Merely by the excellence of this transcript can I ascertain which Michael is being quoted. Or think I can. But why presume the possibility of pitfalls when it is more pleasant to presume prescience?
I was once told by an ex, now friend, that was one of his favorite things about me - when I'd write or say a word that he had to look up. That which didn't make us popular in high school others luv us for now.
S
OK, I have to add another comment. My eldest son, who I call the Word Wizard, was constantly accused of using words no one could understand in grade school and high school. He also was the only kid in middle school to have long hair. One day I witnessed one of the tough kids get really angry at him and yell, "Why do you have to look like a girl and use words I don't understand? How can anyone be friends with you?" It broke my mother's heart to see him ostracized for for such silly reasons, but I was proud of him for standing his ground. He told the kid off with words I still don't know the meaning of... Happily, he has found his kind of people at University.
Woodsy: It's totally the foxy hair! I never thought of that.
MadKevin: Words are totally awesome, I agree with you, except that sometimes it really does make you sound like a total snob. Not in this case, because Michael's a smart person who was gently poking fun at me, but I've been in situations where it makes people feel bad that they don't know the word you used. That's not nice and I try to avoid that.
Sam: Most certainly your prescience.
S and Woodsy: Grade and high school suck. Thankfully it's just a short part of life, sadly, it's during some pretty formative years.
Meg, high school sucked because you cared about learning and good grades. I mean, how can you expect to get by in life learning shit!?!