Submitted by megan on Sun, 06/28/2009 - 18:33
Out of hiding for at least one post.
As some of my sistren have blogged, the Fringe Fest wined and dined some of us bloggers. And gave us free passes to go see a couple of shows. With the hope - the understanding - that we might generate some grassroots interest with our blogs.
Then I stopped blogging.
And I didn't really do anything this week. I am feeling misanthropic and sad. I don't want to be in crowds of people, and by crowds I mean more than 5, and only 5 if I don't have to make small talk with those 4 people; I do not have it in me for small talk. Truthfully, I don't even really want to leave my house all that much, and the fringe stuff is practically on the other side of the canal, which may as well be another country.
But tonight I made a plan with Steve and so we are going to see our friend Ned's play, Oreo. It's supposed to be really good, but you probably don't need me to tell you that, since it won Best in Venue.
A bit of the barn door, this post. But at least I don't feel like I completely cheated.
As for blogging: I don't know. As for writing: I don't know.
This happens periodically. I feel like it's all pointless and why do I bother. I feel like stopping. Because what would be the difference? How does me putting one word after another make any fucking difference to anyone? What does it matter?
There are no real answers to those questions. Only faith. You either believe or you don't.
If you're going to keep writing you simply cannot let those questions haunt you so much that you stop.
Maybe I'll be back in a few days. I may come back in a few weeks. I may take the summer off. I may just stop, pull "writer" out of my core identity and learn how to do something useful.
I don't know.