Let's Reclaim the Other Words

While I'm really happy, in this post V-Day world of ours, that it's much easier for many people to say the word vagina with ease, it still troubles me crazy that people don't know what in hell it is.

Take this:

The redux, for those of you who don't want to watch?

Bryce Gruber goes to a spa to get herself vajazzled. That is, she has someone stick crystals in pretty patterns on the skin where her pubic hair used to be. The crystals are on some kind of double-sided tape, and though the results aren't my cup of tea, it seems like just a fine thing to do. Why not, really? People do all sorts of crazy shit, myself included, and if someone wants to pay someone else scads of money to put jewels where their hair was, fill yer boots, is all I can say.

But one thing did freak me out.

As described by the esthetician, vajazzling is where they put "jewels, on the upper part, of...." Here she trails off, looking embarrassed.

Gruber picks up the trail: "The vagina?"

The esthetician nods and looks relieved and repeats in a sing-songy falsetto "The vagina!"

And I thought ouch.

Quick lesson here:

• The vagina is on the inside.
• The vulva is on the outside.

Being on the outside, the vulva comprises lots of different other parts. Our friend the clit, for example. Also, it includes the mons (pubis or veneris, take your pick), which is where, if you let it, most of the pubic hair grows. And where, if you don't, you might have delicate sparkly crystals taped to the exposed skin.

Though I suppose monsazzle doesn't have quite the same ring, now, does it.