Phantasmal Finger Twitches

The period between finding out about my low low iron and the supplements kicking in was something else. Everyone gets the regular tired, and I tend to be on the tired side of normal. This was weird tired though, tired like after I had mono tired, tired like I weighed 103 tired.

You, not being me, don't know how I felt during either of those periods. I've been trying to figure out a way of describing it, but am at a loss.

This is the best I've been able to come up with: that I felt wrapped in layers of tissue-thin lead.

Shelley's verdict? "You were catatonic!"

I'd forgotten what energy felt like. I was making myself do everything. And yknow, I'm pretty okay with making myself do stuff. Most of the time, I don't actually want to run or go to yoga. Honestly, I'd be pretty happy spending most of my days organizing and reorganizing various things around my house and the internet.

I make myself do other things though, because I know that Future Megan will be happy they happened. I don't actually want to do dishes or sweep up cat hair or clean the bathroom or make myself nutritious meals. I still do it though, because that Future Megan is one demanding bitch.

However, it's one thing to make yourself go for a run, do the dishes. It's another thing when you're making yourself keep your eyes open. On a daily basis.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I was quite sick, albeit in a creeping, inconspicuous, high-functioning way. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily all better - I'm still oddly short of breath when I feel like I shouldn't be, where I wouldn't have been a few of months ago - but man, a week and a half on iron, and I'm having actual bursts of energy.

It's kind of like a ghost limb reappearing. Like I was wearing leaden gloves, pretending I had hands, and now my real hands have grown back.