Single State

I love being single. This may not be readily apparent from the streams of break up sadness I've been letting flow here, but it's true nonetheless. It's a state that, quite frankly, suits me much more than being part of a couple.

Though of course, if I ever let someone love me like that again, I will swear up and down I never wrote that.

I do love being part of a couple. I like the meshing of habits; of bodies; of humour and language. The inside jokes and being absolutely special to someone. I like having all those kinds of connections with one person. I like the warmth.

But I also love being by myself. One heck of a whole lot. I love puttering and organizing and deciding how my week is going to look without having to worry about someone else's schedule or desires. I like the simple routines that keep me anchored safely in my life and my body. If you're by yourself, you're never waiting.

It was a hard day today, a lot of small spurts of tears. But no matter, it's ending well. I washed my sheets, and am stretched out now between them, my big wool socks just starting to warm my feet. I have a huge stack of books on my bedside table. I just called Freya, who is now nosing the computer and purring louder than jesus. I have a good life, myself at the centre.