Things I Learned This Weekend

+1+

That thing where you put your envelope when you're putting a cheque in the bank machine? Yeah, I always called it the deposit slot too.

Shelley and I were running errands on Saturday, one of which was stopping at the TD for her to put a cheque in the bank. She was punching numbers and sticking envelopes; I was leaning against the glass, enjoying the contact warmth.

She beckoned me over. "I think of you every time I put anything in the bank," she said. "Look at this." She pointed at the screen.

Please insert your envelope into the depository slot.

I started giggling uncontrollably.

"Like how you always say 'cellular telephone,' right?"

I just nodded, unable to do anything else. Depository! Unnecessary syllables! Haw haw haw!

Except I just looked it up, and in fact, the TD Bank actually does know what it's talking about. A place where things are deposited or stored is called a depository.

Ergo, the slot you use to put your things in there is called a depository slot.

But I still can't read that without dissolving into some kind of puddle of 12 year old laughter. It (gasp) says (gasp) slot!

+2+

I really should stop saying things like "ergo" in public. Am I still 10 and trying to impress the teachers with my vocabulary? Come on, Butcher.

The problem is that a joint got passed around at a party I was at. I don't partake (it makes me paranoid and/or panicked), and I wasn't drinking, so I will blame the hot-boxed living room for getting me a little fuzzy and thus ending the last story of the night, before we all headed out for dancing fun, with a lusty "ERGO" that rang out into a sudden silence and sea of nonplussed faces.

Everybody laughed at me good-naturedly, with teasing sweetness, and trundled either up the stairs to pee or down the stairs to wait.