What?

I have a fucking rash! What?

You know what I love more than getting up in front of strangers and baring my soul? Getting up in front of strangers and baring my soul while scratching myself.

It started two days ago. I had one little red dot that was itchy. Yesterday, I had another little red dot that was itchy. Today, when I was finished yoga, my torso was covered in pale dots that were a little itchy. 3 hours later, it's red and itchy and up my neck and on my face. Lord knows what I'll look like tomorrow.

What if I'm catching? What is this? I need to write tomorrow! Not sit at the depressing Appletree medical clinic to wait in line until they tell me that they don't know what it is because rashes are really hard to diagnose so here's some steroid cream. Fuck that, I'm not going to the doctor.

If you see me, just keep your distance. Of course, you probably won't need to be told that.

So much for the Pollyanna posts. I've put my fucking cranky pants back on.