words

+1+

That thing where you put your envelope when you're putting a cheque in the bank machine? Yeah, I always called it the deposit slot too.

Shelley and I were running errands on Saturday, one of which was stopping at the TD for her to put a cheque in the bank. She was punching numbers and sticking envelopes; I was leaning against the glass, enjoying the contact warmth.

She beckoned me over. "I think of you every time I put anything in the bank," she said. "Look at this." She pointed at the screen.

Please insert your envelope into the depository slot.

I started giggling uncontrollably.

"Like how you always say 'cellular telephone,' right?"

I just nodded, unable to do anything else. Depository! Unnecessary syllables! Haw haw haw!

Except I just looked it up, and in fact, the TD Bank actually does know what it's talking about. A place where things are deposited or stored is called a depository.

Ergo, the slot you use to put your things in there is called a depository slot.

But I still can't read that without dissolving into some kind of puddle of 12 year old laughter. It (gasp) says (gasp) slot!

+2+

I really should stop saying things like "ergo" in public. Am I still 10 and trying to impress the teachers with my vocabulary? Come on, Butcher.

The problem is that a joint got passed around at a party I was at. I don't partake (it makes me paranoid and/or panicked), and I wasn't drinking, so I will blame the hot-boxed living room for getting me a little fuzzy and thus ending the last story of the night, before we all headed out for dancing fun, with a lusty "ERGO" that rang out into a sudden silence and sea of nonplussed faces.

Everybody laughed at me good-naturedly, with teasing sweetness, and trundled either up the stairs to pee or down the stairs to wait.

In my old work life as the manager of Venus Envy Ottawa, CBT meant "cock and ball torture." In my new work life as a tobacco control information specialist, CBT usually has nothing to do with testicles.

When my old work life pops into my new work life, amusing results ensue.

Apport des thérapies cognitivo-comportementales dans le sevrage tabagique = The contribution of cognitive-behavioural therapies to smoking cessation
The authors support CBT to help patients quit smoking and prevent relapse. CBT has also been useful in treating anxiety, other addictions, and depressive co-morbidities often discovered during counselling. It can be difficult to evaluate CBT.

I get about 4 word-of-the-day emails every day. Mostly, I don't look at them, because that's a lot of words. But just recently, I got this one from Merriam-Webster:

transpontine \trans-PAHN-tyne\ adjective
1 : situated on the farther side of a bridge

Now that's a good word. But an even better one that I derived from this one is one that describes me and my geographic stubbornness.

I am transpontinophobic.

Not -phobic as in afraid, in the way that I am arachnophobic,* but -phobic as in the opposite of -philic, as in oil is hydrophobic and that's why oil and water don't mix.

Me and stuff on the other side of bridges? We don't mix. Oh, if you shake me, I'll cross the bridge to visit you, sure, but you're gonna hafta shake hard and the mix won't last for long.

*Megan: That is a giant spider crawling down the wall.
Eric: What? Where?
Megan: [slips slipper off, hands it over] Here. There. By the bed. MY side of the bed.
Eric: Ah. Right. [THWAP!] You were pretty quick with that slipper.
Megan: Yes. Years of practice.