tired

Well, yesterday day was about as bad as I thought it would be. But the date was about as nice as I thought it would be, which is saying something. I was a little flat, a little quiet, but I'd given d.jack good warning, so didn't worry too much about having to be fun and just enjoyed my wine and his hands.*

And someone left me a present in my mailbox yesterday. That was very nice, whoever you are, and you are so far not any of the people I would have expected. The flowers were pretty and also much appreciated.

Today was a hard day too. As it turns out, the day after receiving a layoff notice is less fun that the day you actually receive it, because your small organization starts shifting gears entirely, and it is discombobulating, to say the least. Depending on how fast the government machine grinds, we may or may not get laid off.

If there is an election, the layoff a surety. I find myself in the awkward position of wanting the Conservatives to stay in power. This will hopefully be the last time I ever say that.

Tonight, I'm finding myself a little frayed; feeling thin; a little frustrated, too, like I should be able to handle a week of social activity and some not huge work stress better than this, like I wish I had a stronger constitution.

But meh, we are who we are, right? And right now, what I are is hauling my carcass to bed.

*Listed in reverse order of enjoyment.

It's true, I'm still around. I think this is the longest I've gone without posting for possibly ever. And considering the past week and the next couple of days ahead of me, I should probably be sleeping.

See, this year, Pride has coincided with the end of a funding contract at work. Which means I'm working long hours to bust out the deliverables, and hosting stuff and picking up PAs and working bars and drinking drinks and practising to take my clothes off in front of 200 people and actually taking my clothes off in front of 200 people. And going on dates, because I actually prefer to take my clothes off in front of one person.

So. Not much in the tank tonight. I'll take a bath, take a nap, drink some coffee, pick up a dj, set up a PA, have some fun, tear down the PA, get some sleep, maybe do an interview, march around a bit, listen to some music, and then type on the deliverables for the rest of the weekend.

The contract ends Monday, which is the same day that I'm getting a layoff notice. It's not hugely likely to go through, but it does give one pause.

Monday will be a sucky day on top of a moderately sucky weekend on top of a very fun but very tiring week. Luckily, there was already anyway a d.jack date in the plan for that night, so when I get stressed out about all this, I picture myself at the Imperial, eating green things and drinking beer and laughing.

Coming up this weekend:

• driving lesson
• sister visit
• visit with J. and Kat and Cameron?
• brunch
• wax on, wax off
• run
• dress up birthday party
• hangover avoidance
• backgammon with Mae
• yoga
• potluck birthday party

Somewhere in there, I need to mail off a couple of very late birthday presents; get some grocery shopping done; maybe sleep. I need to rev up a bit too, since I just got off a skype call with CT, wherein I mostly had my head propped up on my hands, and mostly said some version of "Sorry I'm so quiet. I am very tired."

Which is basically all I said over dinner to M-C and Shelley.

I may need to say no to something on that list.